I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
