Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Randomize
