I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
