You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
