38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
