We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You smell like stripper and shame
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
