I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
