my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
