About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
