My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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