But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
