i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
