will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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