There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
