I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
