none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
