Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
