After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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