Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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