Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
