Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
