im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
