I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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