hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
