i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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