Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
