pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
