those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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