If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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