There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
