You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
