If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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