Betty ford says i'm here all night
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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