I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
