then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
