I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
