I hate your face
from now on my penis is your penis
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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