After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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