I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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