Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
