Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Terrible idea I love it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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