Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize