I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
