Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize