Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
