I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
