I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
