Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
