There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
