This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
