i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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