My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
