What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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