I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize