Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
