i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My feet surprised me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
