Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dont even know how to be here
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
